My Pandemic Secret Weapon- Cary Quilting

 I like many others have exhausted my usual arsenal of coping devices during this pandemic and political season.  The combination of increased work and life stress and limited opportunities to socialize and commiserate in person has been exhausting.  Top that with my long loved husband being a conservative Republican.  Oy Vey!

But this post is one of gratitude for the big and little things that get us through. Like Cary Quilting Company. As my interest in stitching developed, this store was a lovely distraction. In the worst of lockdown, you could order a bag of scraps, fat quarters or whatever and pick it up curbside.  This was such a treat to have a bag of surprises to grab and take home to play with.

Within this happy space is my primary destination.   Just digging through this bin during my lunch hour on a discouraging day at work was my remedy many days.

Scraps are sold by the ounce.  I found when too down or tired to craft, I found satisfaction just washing and ironing them.

This store has been a lifesaver for me. Both visiting and playing with my scrappy treasures.

Thankfully I  have moved beyond just ironing scraps.  The staff at the store helped me pick out fabric. I am making a quilt for Riley's birthday. 

This long ago pieced and forgotten throw has been hand quilted and bound.  Need to work on those mitered corners though.  Thank you Cary Quilting for getting this weaver through a season of despair.

 

We Are Not Okay

 I refuse to write "in these challenging times" and my ability to spoon out an encouraging platitude or two is exhausted.  Things are not fine, may not be fine anytime soon.  As we have been told "it is what it is."  Most of us have questioned our coping abilities but the overall situation we are in has been described as a crisis, extraordinary, unprecedented, historical, a castrophy, a hot mess and a dumpster fire.  If you aren't struggling to find your equilibrium you aren't paying attention.  Those thoughts prompted this.

As you can see, my design process is a rough one.  An idea, a basic plan and rudimentary sketch.  The beauty of wedge weave for me, is the ability to let it develop intuitively on 

the loom.  I love the distortion and the serendipity of not knowing how it will morph when off the loom.

This tapestry is a wool warp with linen and handspun newspaper.   The sett is variable, meaning the newspaper is woven at 8 ends per inch and the linen is woven at 16 ends per inch.  This is really easy to accomplish on the Mirrix Saffron.

I purchased an 18 inch rod at the hardware store to extend the Saffron to 18 inches.  This finished tapestry is 17 inches by 5 inches.

I am so excited to see the profusion of lovely goldenrod on the side of the roads here.  Such beauty and promise.  I dyed a batch last weekend and have a pot bubbling now.

Be well my friends and remember. 

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall -- think of it, ALWAYS."

Gandhi

The Road to Should

The definition of the word should includes the words obligation and duty. It is an active form of self criticism, indicating dissatisfaction with who and where we are.   That alone should eliminate it from any of my tapestry thoughts.  But...

I should weave upstairs in my studio, surrounded by my yarns and tools.

I should listen to classical music while I weave.

I should drink green tea from a hand thrown pottery mug while weaving. 

I should maintain an open, generous, karmic mindset while I weave.
  
 Or perhaps I could set up my Mirrix Zeus into a corner of the bedroom, listen to old Law and Order episodes,  sip on a McDonald's  diet coke, swear like a sailor and weave some tapestry.  It ain't elegant but it is my life.

Beautiful hand dyed greens and some close to home inspiration. 

A little encouragement from a tapestry mentor and I am back at the loom.
I have a sign in my office that says "Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful."  These days our lives are all about embracing the unexpected and grabbing moments of joy whenever possible.  

Thank you for reminding me, you know who you are!

Purposeful Play

 Dyeing is such a serendipitous activity.  I do not approach it scientifically and precisely therefore the outcomes can be wildly variable.  Indigo is a favorite and I have always great results.  Until the last vat a few weeks ago.  Not sure why but I did not get the nice swampy green and purple flower.

In an effort to revive it, I heated it to 170 degrees for 30 minutes, stirred gently and added more reducing agent, thiox.

It worked!  I combined some rust dyed linen with this revived indigo and played all Saturday afternoon.   I continue to be inspired by https://spiritcloth.typepad.com/  I followed a link on her blog and made some moons.

Lots of choices for stitching projects.  I continue to think about the role of making in my life.  How to maintain a thoughtful slow approach and not think in terms of "making art."

These hand dyed fabrics and naturally dyed threads make me happy.  As does this finished small piece below.

And enjoyed a breakfast picnic and cookie baking with my favorite turtle wrangler.

Stitching On

Sunday night... not sure I am ready to head back to work tomorrow but duty calls.  The Lifesaver Quilt top is pieced and ready to quilt.  I used scraps and no pattern.  It is a wonky log cabin of sorts.  I love the scrap bin at the Cary Quilting Company.  I also love my forty year old Pfaff sewing machine.

Along with the scraps, I included some indigo dyed peices.  It was fun and you have to feel hopeful while sewing a baby blanket.  I decided to assemble this on the machine so it will stand up to some serious laundering.  I do plan to handquilt it though.

I also finished July's slow stitching.  Pretty happy with the end result and enjoyed the work.  I hope everyone has a good week .  Stitch on.

The Quilt that Saved My Life

Ouiser Boudreaux: I’m not crazy, I’ve just been a very bad mood for the last 40 years!

• Steel Magnolia

Another blog post so soon, yes!  I had an epiphany today.  If you have been following along (bless your heart)  you know I have struggling.  It feels like I've been in a bad mood for forty years or going crazy.  None of my crafting efforts were sparking joy.  Knitting, spinning, weaving and dyeing were not doing it for me.  I dove into the world of slow cloth and gratefully gobbled up blogposts new and old from Jude Hill.

This is my third slow stitch monthly journal.  I am enjoying cataloging the bright spots each month.  I already have April and May on the wall in the studio.  I am working on July now.  There were bright spots this month, fresh tomatoes from Wendy's garden, a family dinner and a long phone call with my bff.  But work is still overwhelming and news of the outside world dismal.

I want to make something beautiful, unique and meaningful.  Baby quilt, make a baby quilt a little voice inside whispered.  A blue, scrappy quilt with lots of love and hope for the future stitched in.

There is no baby needing warmth and comfort on the horizon in my life.   I will send this out into the world for a little one needing a welcome.  Thank you, Jude Hill for all the care and love you have sent out into the world.

Ragged Edges

It was not... that she was unaware of the frayed and ragged edges of life. She would merely iron them out with a firm hand and neatly hem them down.     P.D. James

Work continues to be overwhelming, the virus casts a cloud of uncertainty over every facet of our lives.  The news continues to frighten me.  Not the unrest but our government's response to it.  My natural tendency is to pull in, a turtle safely esconced in it's shell when feeling in jeopardy.   I am going to resist the pulling inward and move forward gently with myself and everyone else. 

 

The two small tapestries above were woven on the Saffron loom.  My big Mirrix is warped and ready but there is no weaving mojo to be had.  I have faith it will return.  For now, I am doing some dyeing with indigo, rust and brazilwood and exploring slow stitch.

Indigo and Rust

 

Brazilwood on linen

Indigo and Rust

I am toying with the idea of embroidery on this...

What a tool!

Do You Know What Love Is?

The month of May has been challenging for oh so many reasons.  At the beginning of the month I felt really lost.  Unable to find joy in my usual distractions of spinning and tapestry weaving.  Needing an outlet, I started exploring slow stitching.  I found the blog of Claire Wellesley Smith and purchased her book Slow Stitch and was happily engaged.  On May 4th, I decided I would just mindfully stitch during the month of May.  No plan or focus on product just a record of my days.

This is some linen dyed with black walnut hulls.  This has been my constant companion, knowing it could not be finished before May 31st kept me working slowly and mindfully.  Incorporating moments big and small.

The moss from our mother's day hike memorialized in thread.  I also added an old washer I picked up in a parking lot and a bottle cap.  The cap has Reed's on it.  Dear hubs name is Reed and I put the cap on this to remind me of  a tender moment.  He is Republican and I am a  yellow dog Democrat, sometimes I have to remind myself that I love him in spite of that.

I also discovered the work of Jude Hill and her wonderful blog.  Her work is so delightful and her observations on life so thoughtful.  I especially love her beasts.  I decided I needed to create one.  I decided my inner beast, at least for the last week has been a really pissed off bunny rabbit.  I have named this "The Terrible Awful No Good Hare Day."

Everybody needs a needle book so I made myself one.  I have planned a couple of slow stitch projects for June.  I will continue down this rabbit hole

for now.

Weltschmerz

It is hard to know what to share.  With so much uncertainty and most all my outside activities curtailed it is a challenge to put thoughts into a perspective that is not downright depressing.  When the pandemic started and life began to change, spindle spinning, and tapestry weaving were both refuge and outlet.   I dove into both with a fervor, anxious to calm and center myself and discharge some of my feelings of anxiety, anger and sadness.  I love my little tapestries that resulted from this.

It was calming and energizing at the same time until it wasn’t.  It was almost like chewing bubble gum.  It’s all sweetness and bubbles until it loses flavor and sits in your mouth like a tasteless wad.  My fervor was gone. My big 38-inch loom was warped and ready as was my little Mirrix Saffron.  I could not get excited about either project.  I couldn’t muster any excitement for tapestry period.

 I watch all the tapestry artists I admire post beautiful and compelling work and question the worth of my efforts.  It is a blessing to be in contact with talented artists whose work I admire.  The trick is how to silence my inner critic who wants to goad me to weave more, weave better and weave faster!

COVID Spring

Losing my interest and joy in tapestry weaving would have been unfathomable to me a month ago when weaving COVID Spring.  It sucks.  I have been trying to puzzle it out. I have struggled with depression for most of my adult life but have successfully remained medicated and stable for years.  This feels different.  Everything has changed for everybody.  Some people have lost lives, loved ones, jobs and businesses.  I am fortunate to have my family, my job, my home and my needs met.  I have no right to complain about anything but damnit I am scared, and I am sad.  Not to mention incredibly angry.  Throw some old nurse (not on the frontlines) guilt on top of that and we have a perfect storm.

While trying to dissect the difference between ennui and depression, I came across a word that perfectly captured my imperfect feelings.  Weltschmerz or world weariness.  German for “world pain,” describes an emotional response to the perceived mismatch between how we envision the world should be and how it is now in real life.

I am sheltered in my home and my family is healthy.  Yeah, yeah, I am privileged and grateful, but I miss my friends, my guild, bookstores, restaurant meals, camping, fiber festivals and weaving conferences.  I can hold the thankfulness in my heart as well as the darker feelings that I hesitate to express.

It is okay that I did not weave a masterpiece during quarantine.  Maintaining my sanity, my relationships, my job and my health are going to have to suffice.  Weave on dear friends or sit quietly and dream of weaving on when the loom calls.  No masterpiece,  today I am using french knots to replicate this moss on my slow stitch sampler.  My heart is warmed by Riley finding this moss on the forest floor during our hike and saving it for grandma. I am going to sit quietly, stitch and smile.

Blossom by Blossom

Blossom by blossom the spring begins.”

 — Algernon Charles Swinburne

Spring in North Carolina is a glorious time, blue, blue skies, flowers and birdsong everywhere.   This year, all that beauty is superimposed with the specter of illness and death.  So hard to hold both of these realities at the same time.

I walk outside and see my beloved hostas, yellow and purple irises.  The glory is there, the color is there but it is almost as if a thin black veil covers them all.

How to capture this feeling ?

I am so thankful for being able to ground myself with peaceful moments of running fiber and yarn through my hands.

COVID Spring was finished this evening.  

Tonight, the death toll in the United States exceeded 50,000.  Uncertainty seems to rule the day.  Yet, bloom by bloom spring is here and inspires hope and faith.

COVID Spring

April 24, 2020

9 inches by 9 inches

Wool warp with handspun weft.

8 ends per inch, woven on a Mirrix loom.