Blossom by Blossom

Blossom by blossom the spring begins.”

 — Algernon Charles Swinburne

Spring in North Carolina is a glorious time, blue, blue skies, flowers and birdsong everywhere.   This year, all that beauty is superimposed with the specter of illness and death.  So hard to hold both of these realities at the same time.

I walk outside and see my beloved hostas, yellow and purple irises.  The glory is there, the color is there but it is almost as if a thin black veil covers them all.

How to capture this feeling ?

I am so thankful for being able to ground myself with peaceful moments of running fiber and yarn through my hands.

COVID Spring was finished this evening.  

Tonight, the death toll in the United States exceeded 50,000.  Uncertainty seems to rule the day.  Yet, bloom by bloom spring is here and inspires hope and faith.

COVID Spring

April 24, 2020

9 inches by 9 inches

Wool warp with handspun weft.

8 ends per inch, woven on a Mirrix loom.

Change is the Only Constant

I want to remember this time.  Not only the events as we respond to this virus but my thoughts and feelings about these times.  It can be hard to sort out when everyday it seems our reality shifts.  Weaving tiny tapestries has been a lifesaver.

Even before the virus, my life was changing.  My boss of fifteen years retired and I assumed her duties.  I embraced the new responsibilities but worried about doing the job well.  I started spindle spinning and weaving little pieces to deal with the stress.  Then CO-VID 19.

A Walk in the Garden

Spinning and weaving during week one was about distraction and disbelief.

Social Distance

Week two involved a new vocabulary and puzzling out the new rules for social distance, working from home and growing anxiety .

Death by Cheeto

Week three, the feelings were not conflicted.  It was anger.  How many people would die due to our ineptitude?

Dark Thoughts

I just finished week four, was trying to sort out what was grief appropriate for our situation and what was underlying depression.  One of the challenges with dealing with depression is keeping tabs ( or trying to) on what are situational feelings  versus mood changes needing my attention.  I realized what I was experiencing was grief and loss. Grieving for all those losing family members and livelihoods and the loss of  being able to plan for the future.

Thank goodness for friends, family, my animals and fiber.